Monday, January 8, 2007

A game for all you geeks

In light of the success of How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?, and the possibility that the new Grease: You're the One That I Want will be equally popular, I'm preparing myself for the possibility that this will become a bona fide trend by making up titles for future editions. Here are a few I've come up withcan you do better?

  • The King and I: Shall I Tell You What I Think of You?
  • A Chorus Line: God I Hope I Get It*
  • Death of a Salesman: Attention Must Be Paid
  • Oliver!: Consider Yourself Part of the Furniture
  • Follies: The God-Why-Won't-You-Cast-Me Blues
  • Lear: Every Inch a King!
  • The Last Five Years: If I Don't Get a Callback I Can Go to Crate & Barrel With Mom and Buy a Couch
  • Damn Yankees: Whatever America Wants, America Gets!
  • The Music Man: There's Nothing Halfway About the Reality Show Way to Cast You, if We Cast You (Which We May Not Do at All)

*Too obvious, I know. But I included it anyway because it would result in two revivals of A Chorus Line running on Broadway at the same time, which would be even more superfluous than another revival of Grease.


Anonymous said...

Guys and Dolls: Sit Down (Said Simon Cowell), You're Rocking the Boat

Anonymous said...

Chess: Where I Want to Be (alternately: Chess: A Model of Decorum and Tranquility)

South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut: I'm Super

Rent: Will I Lose My Dignity?


Mollie said...

Ooh, I like the elegant series of colons in the South Park title, and that Rent one is so perfect I'll almost be disappointed if it doesn't actually get used. In fact: Television executives, I hereby copyright it, on behalf of Garvin and Restricted View.

If there were a Chess reality show/revival in the works, my suggested title would be Chess: This Is the One Situation I Wanted Most to Avoid. Or maybe just Chess: Maybe I'm on Nobody's Side.

Anonymous said...

Oh, that is beautiful.

Don't miss the December hour-long special: Rent: You Can Destroy An Entire Community and Then Stay Home and Watch It's a Wonderful Life on TV

Anonymous said...

Ragtime: Here in America, Anyone at All Can Succeed!

Mollie said...

I wish I'd thought of that one for Ragtime! Consider it copyrighted, along with all the others. I'm almost looking forward to the next TV series now...