- [Ring... ring... ring...]
HOTEL: Thank you for calling Scranton-Area Hotel, this is Jan, how may I help you?
ME: I'd like to set up a block of rooms for my wedding -- [Click.] -- in January... if I can... Hello? [Silence.] Hello?
["Your call is over, dummy" arpeggio from my cellphone.]
- 1. After listening just long enough to ascertain what I want, Jan is connecting me, brusquely but in good faith, to an extension that (unbeknownst to her) is not active.
2. Scranton-Area Hotel has been fooled by the old "fake wedding block" prank several times in the past, and its operators are now instructed to hang up immediately whenever anyone proposes such a scheme.
3. Jan is suffering from a condition like that of Mr. Lambert, the mattress salesman from the Monty Python sketch who puts a bag over his head whenever he hears the word "mattress." Except, in this case, she is a hotel employee who hangs up the phone whenever she hears the word "wedding." Bad luck for me, I suppose.
4. Jan cannot hear me. Is it all Sprint's fault?
Anyway, this morning I plan to call Scranton-Area Hotel again, from a land line, and hope that Jan does not answer. If she does, I guess I will ask about arranging a block of rooms for my "dog kennels." In the meantime: are there other explanations I am not considering? And do you have any idea what a "fake wedding block" prank might entail? Please comment.