Wednesday, November 28, 2007

To love and honor, yes, but not "obey"

We're 45 days away from the big event, and because my brain is too crammed with wedding-related nonsense to assemble sentences and paragraphs, I give you these lists:

Words/phrases associated with weddings that I dislike having to use

"Announcement is made..."
"Together with their families..."
"Two thousand and eight" (I caved to convention in the end, but I still think it looks dumb)
"...and guest"
"fiance" (someone come up with an alternative, please)
"matron of honor"
"pew bow"
"belly band" (our invitations had one, but I refuse to call it that)
"escort card" (we'll have them, but I still hate the term. It sounds dirty)
"tiara" (I prefer to call it a "headpiece")

Words/phrases that I refuse to associate with our wedding

"bachelorette"
"usher"
"junior bridesmaid" (to paraphrase Arrested Development: the very fact that you call it that tells me you're not ready)
"The Seating of the Grandmothers" (not really an option for us, but even if it were I wouldn't actually call it that)
"Mr. and Mrs. [Man's Name]" (what century is this?)
"sweetheart table"
"Please be seated at table X"
Any use of the word "garter," especially "garter toss"

Old-fashioned words/phrases that I enjoy having an opportunity to use

"betrothal" (and its variants)
"bridegroom"
"groomsman" (so much better than "usher," no?)
"banns"
"couturier"
"atelier" (this would be the workplace of my "couturier")
"matrimony"

And finally:

Words/phrases about which I am undecided

"nuptial"
"honeymoon suite"
"trousseau"

Do you have any you'd like to add?


ETA: I want to add this postscript, because this post occasionally gets hits from people searching for a "matron of honor" alternative. (Most recently, on April 17, 2008, a search for "Do I have to call someone matron of honor if she is married" led here.) We ultimately decided to call my married-but-not-matronly sister the "best woman." It's a solution I recommend!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

How about "dowry"?

Mollie said...

I thought about that, but I wasn't sure how to list it. I haven't had any opportunity to use it, except in a very figurative and/or ironic sense. But it's really fun to say.

Anonymous said...

I say out with "dowry". I only like that in connection with weddings for sons of mine!

Pop Greene

Anonymous said...

<<"fiance" (someone come up with an alternative, please)>>

I kind of like "boyfriend"/"partner" before and "husband" afterward. The fact that you are in the process of getting married should be neither here nor there to anyone.

Mollie said...

Hm. You have a point there. I wish I'd considered that months ago. I think if I switched from "the fiance" back to "the boyfriend" now, people would be concerned. Ah well, in a couple months I'll have retired the term permanently!

Amy said...

where are you on "chocolate fountain"?

Marla said...

I, too, rejected "fiancé" and went with the more vague "other." I still use it when introducing Josh to people, and we've been married for four years. "Hello, Mr. Dowry. I'd like to introduce my other, Josh."

My best friend, Stacy, was, technically, my matron of honor because she was married, but we just couldn't get our heads around the use of "matron," which brought up images of the Golden Girls. So in our program, I referred to her as my Stacy of Honor. Couldn't think of anything else.

I do enjoy the word "aisle." And "bustle."

I do not enjoy the term "wedding coordinator," although I do not have a problem with wedding coordinators as such.

Mollie said...

Ooh, good call, Marla, on "aisle" and "bustle." And I would add "tulle," and also "ballroom," to my list of words I'm enjoying having this opportunity to use. (On the other hand, my frustration with the term "hors d'oeuvres" knows no bounds.) I'm also having imagery issues with "matron" -- I think your solution was an excellent one. I bet your wedding was fun.

Speaking of matrons of honor: Amy, "chocolate fountain" definitely goes on my "refuse to associate" list. Now, I am very much in favor of both chocolate and fountains. But combined into a single buffet-table centerpiece? To me, that says "Super Bowl party," or maybe "bar mitzvah," but definitely not "wedding."