Saturday, October 6, 2007

Instead of, what, like a rented tux

The fiance and I made another quick trip to the Electric City yesterday! I wish I could blog from the car, because then I could give you a real-time wildlife update. On this trip, we saw: at least one dead deer, one unidentified gray furry dead thing, one dead porcupine (the first porcupine I ever saw!), and -- the most exciting part -- one live turtle making his way across a busy stretch of I-380. He was crossing the median when we whizzed by; you might have thought he was a shredded piece of truck tire, but it's pretty hard to slip a turtle past me. I turned around to look back at him, stupidly poking his neck out into oncoming traffic, but I quickly realized it was probably best not to watch. I can just tell myself he made it across safely. I mean, he got halfway...

Oh, and we also found ourselves passing through an intersection where, if you were heading toward the Elmhurst Country Club and made an erroneous right turn, you would drive directly into Lake Scranton. Just like a certain regional manager of a fictional paper company might have done on a certain popular television show the previous night.

We had to go to Scranton to discuss the details of our wedding reception -- and it's all details, and they never ever end. We also made a stop at the tuxedo rental place, where I got a good look at the differences in wedding-related marketing to men and women. There was no concern about finding the tuxedo the groom has always dreamed of. The tux salesman seemed surprised we even wanted to try on more than one jacket (do you call them jackets?). Like, why prolong this routine chore? It's not that he wasn't helpful -- he had good suggestions about what color cuff links would look best in photos and so on. But he didn't seem to think of himself as a retailer of dreams. Just, you know, tuxes. So that's the first not-surprising thing I learned. The second not-surprising thing I learned is that our decision not to include any of our many adorable nieces and nephews in our wedding party is a sound one. The pictures of small boys in tiny tuxedos are seductive, no question, but while we were in the store, at least two and possibly three little boys were brought in by their mothers to be fitted for ring-bearer outfits. I lost count, because they were all pretty much the same: miserable, uncooperative, whiny. And their mothers all looked equally pleased to be participating in some bride and groom's special day. My four-and-a-half-year-old nephew announced his intention to wear a tuxedo (which he calls, variously, a "muxebo," a "tuxemo," and "that black thing that [the fiance] has to wear") to the wedding almost as soon as he heard about our engagement, and he's welcome to, but we will not require it. Because his parents have better things to do with their lives, and also because kids look cute already. They don't need the formal wear to make them presentable and camera-ready. We do.

Oh, also, we picked out our cake. The cake was not something for which we'd budgeted much time or money, so we were very happy to get that over with in less than fifteen minutes. We think it will be both tasty and cute, but if it's not? Who cares. If you're looking at the cake, wedding guests, you're missing the party. I also discovered this Precious Moments cake-topper, which I guess is for couples who are planning a Disney theme but find the Cinderella and Mickey-and-Minnie merch too sophisticated. (And a bargain at $75! That's a memory you can keep forever!) I just needed you to know it's out there, because that way, no matter how short of our own vision we might fall, we will be able to say, At least we didn't put that on top of the cake.

Anyway, I'm back in the city now, moving ahead with wedding stuff while the fiance is off celebrating his bachelorhood. I've got a Broadway review coming up for you, and another Private Practice recap in the works, so stay tuned!

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