People, I can't emphasize this enough.
I am obsessed with the so-called Montauk Monster. I must know what it is! Nutria? Otter? Somebody please do something to solve this mystery so the good people of Long Island, and everyone on the Eastern seaboard, can leave their homes without fear, and so people on the internet can stop suggesting it's "a turtle without its shell." Because NO.
I just had to mention this. But for your sake, I will not link to the photos I can't stop looking at. If you don't know what I'm talking about, for the love of pete do not Google it. You don't need the nightmares.
P.S. Especially sea turtles.
P.P.S. And they don't have teeth.
UPDATE: Follow-up posts here and here.